By Anonymous · 2/5
Summary — Cool action sequences can't save a movie with an incomprehensible plot and humor that panders to the lowest common denominator.
The Hitman's Bodyguard has exactly one thing going for it: the action. The set pieces are genuinely entertaining and well-shot, and if you could watch them in isolation you'd have a decent highlight reel. But that's where the positives end.
I honestly couldn't tell you what the plot of this movie is. Something about a trial and witness protection, but it's so poorly constructed that none of it registered. The movie seems to know it doesn't have a real story, so it just lurches from one shootout to the next hoping you won't notice.
Reynolds and Jackson have their moments, but most of the humor feels forced — low-brow jokes aimed at an audience that doesn't ask much from their comedies. It's the kind of movie that thinks being loud and crude is the same as being funny. I'll probably watch the sequel out of curiosity, but I already know I'm not going to like it.